Sept. 01, 2010   

     How can anyone with a modicum of common sense and sanity listen to Glen Beck and somehow think he is a relevant voice in today's political debate?  He's smug, self righteous and "cursed" with a sweaty, annoying, breathless broadcast style reminiscent of yet another conservative blowhard, Rush Limberger. Are they related?  Or do all of these bloated windbags look alike?  What a dweeb.  Actually, he makes me sick. Using the anniversary of the most significant civil (human) rights speech in history to advance his own political agenda makes me want to puke.  Stop it.
     By the way, "Tea Party" joke of the day (ha ha).  SARAH PALIN is the face of your little movement?  I had better "movements" in my diapers when I was two.  Dudes, she quit her elected office to make MONEY!  Get it?  Not for you or any other political cause.  MONEY.  Hello McFly... 
     Okay.  Let's talk about jobs in the Keys.  Yes, I know it's off season.  I've been here 16 years and I understand that.  Yes, employment opportunities are scarce and everyone is cinching their belts and trying to survive the proverbial "doldrums". Gotta cut here, trim the budget there and just try to keep the business afloat until "THEY" (mooks) all wander back with mouth's dangling and spare change a' jangling (which is probably YOUR tip).  Moo and boo...
     Here's my problem, business owners, managers and other cats in charge.  There are still local people looking for work in these magnificent islands.  Stop it with the ads in the papers that promise work when there is NOTHING available.  It's cruel, depressing and downright mean.  Stockpiling applications for seasonal work is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of.  Come on, do you you really expect an individual who applied on August 22nd to STILL be available for employment when you need them in November?  How rude and inconsiderate.  Not to mention pathetic.  They've probably had to relocate and reassess their fricking lives.  "Heartbreak Hotel", amigos...
     I personally know of at least a half dozen good local workers, assiduously searching for meaningful employment, who are enticed by the "help needed" or "position available" ads.  They rush down to apply, only to be told..."Well, we're not ACTUALLY hiring, but...".  Knock it off!  If you have a job, post it.  If not, keep it to yourself.  Crikey!!!
     Do you know how difficult it is to put together an outfit, plaster on your "happy face" and then be treated like a third class citizen whilst applying for work that you are more than qualified for?  Treated like a sebaceous cyst and made to feel inferior and downright stupid?.  Hello!!!  Remember, arrogant frumps; you were unemployed when YOU found YOUR job.  How about a little kindness and understanding, kids (sounds like a potential Michael Bolton song)? 
     And back to the "Tea Party". Is Barack Obama not the most polarizing figure of this decade?  Why? You figure it out and think why inept, barely coherent, fringe elements guide this movement.  It reminds me of what Harold M. Buttkiss once said..."Let he that is without sin cast the first stone.  Let he that is with sin, go to the local brothel and pass a kidney stone.  Or a cherry stone. Or just get stoned".
     By the way, glad the primaries are over and am dreading the "general elections".  What a bunch of mean bastards!  All of you may kiss the tuccus and have a "tee-hee party" on me...
     Hey, heard the fishing was at least decent.  Go, guys...
     Ok.  Let's face it; it's bloody hot.  Here's a recipe that will not only "cool you down", but will also lift your spirits.  All you need is 1 cup of kahlua, 1 cup of heavy cream, 1 pint of Breyers (no, I am NOT being paid for this plug) ice cream, 1/8 tsp of almond extract and tons of ice cubes.
     Combine all ingredients, except ice cubes, in container of an electric blender.  Add enough ice to make mixture viable (use your judgment...chunky or froth. I personally like about 5 cups of ice).  Blend mixture until smooth.
     Here's the catch.  This refreshing blender drink begs for fresh berries such as blueberries or maybe (if you're lucky) strawberries.  I always blend at least 1/2 cup of either choice with mixture.  I also tend to drizzle with Baileys and top with a granola bar (just kidding).  Try a bit of melted chocolate and a dash of Frangelica.  Terrific on those days when you need a kick ass drink, but still want to feel a LITTLE healthy.  This concoction will get you ready for the inevitable "we're just taking applications" BS you are sure to encounter during your job search.  Or maybe, after this delectable wonder, you just won't care...
     Boo-hoo.  The world's going to hell in a gaudy, pricey handbag.  What to do?  Kick some ass and come out swinging, that's what!  We LIVE here for Christs sake!  Rattle some cages, cry wolf, stomp the dancing chicken!  No one is helpless, let alone torn by events beyond their control.  Remember, old conspiratorial friends...they need US!  When the plaster faced, cardboard cut outs come back, they'll be looking for YOU.  That is your power!  All my love to all you cats searching and perplexing, but NEVER giving up.  As John Lennon would say..."Power to the people..."
     As for me "love all, trust a few and live well"...Wm Shakespeare.